…to deal with real life.
It occurs to me that my blog is probably sucking as of late. It’s not that I don’t have much to say, it’s just by the time I have a moment to sit down and blog I’m just about too darn tired to say it all. I’m sure that never happens to you, my dear readers, right?
And I suppose I could be all whiney and negative and pour my problems out here, but I’ll refrain. But I will say this. I am a control freak by nature, and when my life isn’t going like I “planned”, it definitely gives me food for thought. There are no major problems…just the feeling of being rushed all day and then not having enough energy at night to handle the housework, the nightly routine with EB (bath, etc.) and just simple things like going through the mail, which, by the way is all piled up on my kitchen table. And I also hate clutter, so it pains me to even look at it.
And parenting? A bazillion times harder than I ever imagined. We’ve had some tough days with EB since Sunday and I don’t know who has cried more in the last day or so…me or him. Sensory Integration Disorder has a very firm grip on my baby this week and nothing is helping. It breaks my heart to see my baby so frustrated and angry over little tiny things that are of no consequence to a neurotypical person.
But. BUT. I’m thankful to my God for giving me the strength to plow through this rough patch. Parenting isn’t something you can just put on pause or quit when the going gets tough, and just about the time I feel I’m about to lose my religion, an angel steps in with help….my parents, my grandmother….and I’m able to refuel my parenting reserves to face the next hurdle. And I appreciate these angels so much.
The point being? I don’t really know. It’s just what was on my heart tonight.
The point is that these kinds of posts are necessary for moms. Working and taking care of managing a household is really impossible if you think about it. Yet, we do it everyday. Know what that means? We are SUPERWOMEN!!!!
Good job girl. Hang in there. Life will go on and so will you.
Seriously, you are doing great. Just as Afro says, these points are necessary. It’s great for your blog to show you in the high and put together moments, but the world needs to see the normal too!
From one control freak to another…
I feel you on the control freak. You’ll continue to be strong for EB because that’s what mom’s do. And when you need to let it all out you’ll come here, and people will listen and be supportive because that’s what mom’s do too.
Thank you for putting this out there.
I’ve never thought of my self as a control freak but I can see the tendencies.
The last few days have been extremely stressful and I feel like I’m about to hit my breaking point.
I wish I had someone who would step in to help and give me a chance to refuel.
DH just doesn’t “get it” and I feel like I’m drowning here.
Things will be better soon, I’m sure.
At the moment? I just want to cry, scream & throw things till someone actually hears me asking for help.
I love this sensitive look into your thoughts. You are doing a great job; these times do make us earn our bucks and badges as a good parent. Keep on, keepin’ on, my friend…
Thanks for sharing! Prenting is a challenge and much more difficult then I ever anticipated. Hang in there.
many hugs to you!
sure love your heart cracked mommy! hang in there.
I understand. I do. My 6 year old has sensory integration disorder and it is just harsh some days. Days when I just want him to “act like a normal child”, days when I am so frustrated that he can’t just transition easily, when a tag on his pants makes him completely melt down, when he won’t eat anything but hard crackers all day because he won’t tolerate different textures, days when the noise of our family is too much for him and so he retaliates by screaming, days when his sensory struggles make him angry and he takes it out on his little brother and sister. Days when I just wish there was a pill I could give him to make it all go away.
But I know there are good days too. And I have been told it won’t be this difficult always. And I love my son. I just wish life didn’t have to be so hard for him (and the rest of us) all the time.
Anyway, I hope your days just get better and better.
Thanks for sharing. Motherhood is the toughest job in the world, it is also the most glorious!
Hang in there.
I’m also a control freak by nature. Kids, God love them, can really throw a wrench in the works! Ha ha! Hang in there!
I understand exactly how you feel.
(((hugs)))