As an Obstetrician-Gynecologist who has worked mostly in urban, Black female-dominated practices, there are certain hurdles that I have personally walked patients over. I am sharing some of those here. While they may seem scary, being empowered with information is the best prevention, so I urge you to take heed and also share with the Black women in your lives.

Preconception:
Find The Right Healthcare Provider.
One of the best things you can do before you get pregnant, besides prenatal vitamins, is making sure you select a healthcare provider team you trust. It does not have to be one person, but different providers with different expertise. You want to have conversations with them telling them your goals and desires for childbearing. With all of the talk about Black maternal mortality, I always encourage Black women to at least have one Black provider on their team. Black doctors have been proven to improve outcomes for Black patients, but if you cannot find one of those, it is also great to have a Black doula or midwife, which can be found through a simple Google search. Doulas are great because they also transition you into motherhood beyond the delivery room and into the postpartum period. Doulas can help you find popular midwives or physicians and can help you navigate birth centers vs. hospital vs. home births. Should you choose to deliver in the hospital, it is okay to ask directly about what the providers know about U.S. health care disparities and what their organization is doing to combat this. If we do not demand more from our providers, no one will grow.

Conception:
The World Health Organization deems fertility every woman’s right. This means that no matter who you are or how many children you have or how old you are, you have a right to try. Never let anyone discourage you about bringing life into this world. Black women typically do have higher rates of infertility in the United States and are more likely to have damaged fallopian tubes causing their infertility. This means that if you try to get pregnant consistently for 12 months and do not succeed, you should seek help. If you are over the age of 35 and try to conceive consistently for 6 months and do not succeed, you should seek help. Black women typically take longer to seek infertility treatment, so hopefully this empowers you to know when is the right time to get the help you need.

Pregnancy:
There are so many phases of pregnancy, so I will discuss some key things that affect different trimesters.
First Trimester: Ectopic Pregnancy.
The same damaged fallopian tubes that I discussed in the conception portion can also cause a complication called ectopic pregnancy, which is also more common among Black women. This is when fertilization of the egg occurs in the fallopian tube, which is normal, but does not make it back to the uterus to develop. A tubal pregnancy can be dangerous and life threatening. That is why it is important to have early prenatal care. As soon as you miss a period and have a positive pregnancy test, you should schedule a visit with a provider so that you can confirm that the pregnancy is in the right place. If you have severe pain and you have not had an ultrasound, that is a reason to go to the doctor or emergency room, because tubal pregnancies can rupture and cause internal bleeding. The good news is that if you seek help early, you can take medications to fix the pregnancy and prevent surgery. (Editor’s Note: For a first-hand account of an ectopic pregnancy, read our profile on Kai Avent-deLeon). 

Second Trimester: Preeclampsia.
After 20 weeks of pregnancy, women can develop elevated blood pressures and abnormalities in labs and symptoms like headache or vision changes that point to a diagnosis called preeclampsia. This is a very common diagnosis among Black women. Sometimes when preeclampsia happens before 24 weeks, it may require termination of the pregnancy to save the mom. Many moms deliver early, before 37 weeks, because of this diagnosis and it is a leading cause of preterm birth among Black women. For this reason, I encourage most Black women to discuss with their providers if a baby Aspirin, which can prevent preterm preeclampsia, should be prescribed for them. Often times, other risk factors like obesity, a history of preeclampsia in a prior pregnancy, and diabetes could be reasons to take baby Aspirin as they are associated with an increased risk of preeclampsia.

Third Trimester: Delivery.
This is when all of the work that was advised in the preconception portion comes together. If you have a good team around you, although things can go unexpectedly, you will still have a great experience. The decisions and choices you make in preconception and first trimester set you up for a safe delivery. Be sure to determine early on who you want in your delivery room beyond your birth worker team. That will help you exercise boundaries that are necessary for motherhood.

Postpartum:
Mental Health & Support.
Support is the key to your mental health. Just like I advised you to decide who will be in your delivery room, you need to decide who will support you postpartum. Ask for help. Lactation specialist extraordinaire Jabina Coleman coined the phrase, “Everybody wants to hold the baby, but who will hold the mother?” That is the mindset you should use to build your support team. The people who will help you sleep and mind the baby when you need to run errands are the really supportive friends. It is not just about taking selfies with a newborn; it is about supporting your needs and concerns. A doula can also help with supporting you, along with a lactation specialist. The more people you can strategically surround yourself with, the better your mental health will be. If you feel like you cannot concentrate or sleep even when the baby is asleep, you may need medical attention to rule out postpartum depression. Lastly, exercise! You can always walk with your baby; it helps them sleep.

Find Community With Other Black Mothers.
Some hospitals are offering centering groups for pregnant patients and some even offer Black centering groups. This is an excellent way to do prenatal care, that has been proven to have great outcomes for moms. It is also a way to have a tribe of moms after you deliver. Also be sure to look at online forums for Black mothers to look for ideas about motherhood essentials—you may also find your community online.

If You’re Pregnant or Not:
Advocate For Yourself!
Whether you are pregnant or not, the most important thing that any Black woman can do for herself is advocate for herself when interacting with the healthcare system. The best tips I have are below:

1. Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready.
Come to every visit prepared. Have notes written on paper or on your phone.
Providers pay better attention when they know you are serious about your care.

2. Call for backup.
If you are feeling sick, bring someone with you who can advocate for you if you are too weak.
I always think Black women should show someone cares about them, so that they are not easily dismissed.
If you know someone in the healthcare field who can talk to the team, use them.

3. Switch!
If you do not like how a provider is treating you, switch to someone else. This is your body and your health. Don’t settle!
Only do this if it is safe to do so. If you are in the hospital, it may be difficult to switch to another hospital and unsafe. You can always ask for another provider or nurse.

Happy Black Maternal Health Week! I hope this motivates you to live your best life whether you are a current or future mother or not. Share this knowledge with your friends and family. That is how we will keep each other safe!

Dr. Joy Cooper (right) with her Daughters of the Diaspora co-founder.

For more on Dr. Joy Cooper, be sure to follow her on Instagram, and check out her two inspiring companies that give vital support to Black women and girls—Culture Care and Daughters of the Diaspora. 

For more on the topic of maternal health, check out Latham Thomas’ essay on The Birth Of My Son + The Birth Of A Doula, our Q&A with Christy Turlington of Every Mother Counts, a preview the EMC film Giving Birth In America, and a guide to Preparing For Postpartum Depression.

The post What Black Women Should Know About Their Maternal Health appeared first on MOTHER.

In one of my favorite books I’ve read in the last nine months, Transformed by Birth by Britta Bushnell, she uses the Sumerian myth “The Descent of Inanna” as a powerful metaphor to illustrate the death/rebirth of the initiatory journey of birth. In the story, the goddess Inanna descends to the underworld, where she is stripped of her cloaks and adornments one by one until she’s left completely naked, humbled and exposed. She dies and is eventually reborn, reemerging into the world, taking inventory of all the things she’s discarded along the way and assessing if they’re still of value to her now. She returns to the world transmuted, alchemized, as her true essence.

Like Inanna, I am about to descend and surrender to the unknown, leaving behind much of my armor and past identity, to return forever altered, becoming more of who I am meant to be. In honor of the Jing (and once upon a time, Jenny) who has carried me here, I took the advice of my dear friend and incredible birth doula Elizabeth and wrote her a letter. It was cleansing, cathartic, closing the pages to a chapter and season, opening to a blank new slate.

Dear Jing,

We’ve come a long way together. We’ve traversed continents, overcome language barriers, cultural divides, lived, loved, learned, fallen, gotten back on our feet, lost ourselves, and found our way back home. Through it all, I’ve been in awe of your resilience, bravery, strength, and heart. You did it. You’ve brought us here, against all odds. When you thought you were on your own, you carried on, you found your purpose, pushed through adversity and came out stronger. You wandered the earth in the cloak of a lone wolf, until your friend Elizabeth had to remind you one day in your late 20s that you are loved, and that you deserved to love yourself. A simple statement, with deep reverberations. The journey we’ve been on in the years since has been profound. We excavated, laid ourselves bare. We looked deep into our soul to find our true essence. And from ‘Jenny’, we found our way back home to Jing. Turns out she was there, waiting, the whole time. And now we are shedding yet another layer. Who will we find in the process? Who has been there all along?

On the road to becoming a mother, in that liminal state of pregnancy between worlds, I’ve felt my heart burst open, shedding layers of what I thought defined me in the past. The hardened shell, the determined grit, the martyrdom and self-sacrifice I believed were necessary to success. I realized another way forward, to trust in my infinite wisdom, to tap into the universal field of energy that we all belong to. I learned that there was no glory in suffering or self-sacrifice. That there can be a path of ease and abundance. That abundance is strictly a matter of spirit. Now I see that my child is the only reason I learned any of this. He has led me down this path, and all this before he is even earth side. What more is he going to teach me about myself? About life?

So I’m shedding the old Jing, the battle-hardened woman who has brought me to this point. But what I’m taking with me into the next chapter are the lessons I’ve learned, an open heart, the courage to be vulnerable, the letting go of total control, the essence of me who’s been waiting to be discovered the whole time.

Thank you, and I love you, Jing.

Jing Gao is the founder and CEO of Fly By Jing and Suá. This essay is an excerpt from her brand-new Substack, which you can subscribe to here.

The post The Liminal State Between Pregnancy and Birth appeared first on MOTHER.

On a cold February evening, sitting on the couch in our 28-foot travel trailer, my husband, Benjamin, and I read aloud to each other about how to deliver a placenta. A human placenta, generally speaking; specifically, my placenta.

“So it sort of seems like you just…let it come,” he says, looking up from Penny Simkin’s The Birth Partner.

I am 12 weeks pregnant, and I’m the sort of person who finds information comforting, particularly when it comes to difficult decisions. That night, Ben and I are learning about what might happen if we don’t make it to a birth center for delivery. For most parents-to-be, this is a worst-case scenario, so much so that they wouldn’t bother considering it. But in Fort Bragg, the town in Mendocino County where we live, there is no labor and delivery at the small, rural ER, and in the past few years, at least two local women I know have had their babies on the remote mountain highway that connects us to the nearest hospital. A dozen or so others, I’ve been told, have come close.

When I go into labor, Ben and I will travel that same remote highway—Highway 20, most often referred to simply as “20”—all the way to Ukiah. If the weather is good and there’s no traffic or roadwork, the drive will take about two hours, redwoods rushing by the windows, the sweeping, familiar vistas of Jackson Demonstration State Forest whipping past. We will not have cell service, or any other way to communicate an emergency, aside from a dozen or so bright yellow call boxes stationed roadside every two or three miles.

I set The Birth Partner next to our bed. Our floor is bare particleboard and our walls are plywood, results of a functional if unfinished repair job from a leak we had last winter, when we spent a freezing week building a second roof—the pergola, I call it—over the entirety of our trailer. We slept in Ben’s woodshop. We cooked bacon nightly on the woodstove, ate standing next to it, plates on the drill press. We read aloud, as was our custom, on a mattress on his workbench.

Rage at the leak aside, we like this sort of living. It was part of why we moved here from Oakland, where we’d both grown up. We had a lot of reasons for leaving—the extreme cost of living, the prospect of being forever-renters, traffic, a general dislike of urban life—but we had a lot of reasons for choosing Fort Bragg specifically, too. We wanted to stay close to our families in the Bay. We loved the ocean. Ben was drawn to the local woodworking community, and I got a job adjuncting at our area’s Mendocino College satellite campus. But more important, we liked the lifestyle here, something slower, more connected to community, more invested in relationships among people. In the woods, we’ve found that the choices we make are our own. In this, there is freedom as well as agency. It comes out in all sorts of ways, not the least of which is meeting the challenges the land presents and doing what is required—actually required—of us.

Now, I put on the kettle, and Ben and I sit down to review what we know. If the baby comes while we’re driving on 20, I will know. I’ll tell Ben it’s happening. He’ll pull over, put on the brake, and get into a position to catch the baby, preferably with a towel or piece of clothing ready, since, as Simkin tells us, newborns are slippery. As the baby emerges, Ben, whose medical training I should note consists of earning a Boy Scout first aid badge, will support my perineum and the baby’s head; if we need to, we’ll wait for another contraction between the baby’s head and the shoulders. Once the baby is born, Ben will set them on my naked chest and check to make sure their nose and mouth aren’t obstructed by remnants of the amniotic sac, called a veil. He’ll cover the baby and me in something warm, and if the baby has not vocalized, and especially if their color is dark or bluish, he will rub their back vigorously, to stimulate the instinct to breathe.

“You OK?” I ask him. What I am actually asking: Are you scared?

“Yeah,” he says. “You?”

******

When people hear I’m nearly two hours away from my prenatal care, they’re shocked. It’s worth noting that most of these people live in cities, where care providers are minutes away and where the expectation of immediate medical assistance is all but a given. It’s worth noting also that, when I moved here, I was one of those people.

Ben and I knew that in Fort Bragg, medical care would be more limited, but once I started to dig into prenatal and delivery options, I was surprised at the lack. How could a town that boasted nearly 7,000 people, or that number once or twice over again if you included “nearby points beyond,” as our local radio station’s slogan did, not have an obstetrician? Or a labor and delivery (L&D) department? We had an ER and some basic services (geriatric care, hospice, some surgery); what happened to maternity care? I was anxious for answers, as if the answers would somehow force such care to appear. So, I looked.

Founded in 1971, the Mendocino Coast District Hospital was one of several hallmarks of a boom time on the coast. Back-to-the-land hippies flocked to Mendocino, commercial fishers docked their boats three deep in Noyo Harbor, and Georgia-Pacific purchased Fort Bragg’s mill. Employing over 2,000 locals in well-paying, benefits-rich jobs, the mill drove growth and attracted young families. The benefits were no small part of the draw; the millworkers used their private insurance (and its high reimbursement rates) at the newly minted MCDH.

By the early 1980s, Fort Bragg was well established in logging and fishing, and women in town were having more than 200 babies a year. “Young people came with industries,” says Davey Beak, the emergency transport manager at Fort Bragg’s ER and a lifelong coastal resident. “Families came with industries.”

MCDH offered a full L&D department, complete with OB nurses, obstetricians, and—a rarity in U.S. maternity care at the time—a cadre of in-hospital midwives. It was one of the first hospitals in the country to encourage partners and siblings in the delivery room, and it regularly supported home-birth transfers when women needed additional assistance. In the ’80s, women having babies on the coast had an impressive array of choices.

By 2002, things were looking different. The big trees were gone, fuel costs were up, and after a decade of losing money, the mill split its last piece of timber. As the mill went, so went the economic center of Fort Bragg.

At MCDH, patients were already aging, and as the mill slowed down and then closed, those private-plan holders who remained either left town or transitioned to Medicare. For the first time, MCDH was faced with operating primarily off of state-funded reimbursements, and its financial solvency began to slip. After several organizational and administrative shifts, the midwives were cut in 2005. It didn’t help that the coast was seeing fewer young families and, as a result, fewer babies: In 2012, the year MCDH filed for bankruptcy for the first time, Fort Bragg saw just over 150 births. In 2019, the last full year the hospital’s labor and delivery would be in operation, that number dropped to 95 births, only 56 of which took place at MCDH. The following year, the hospital would dissolve entirely, giving governance over to Adventist Health, a large-scale corporate provider.

Despite years of public outcry, meetings, hearings, and protests, in 2020, just months before the handoff to Adventist, the board of MCDH voted to close labor and delivery.

******

Early in my first trimester, my pregnancy still a secret from most of the world, Ben and I weighed our options for care. Basically, there are four. We can go through Adventist, with early prenatal in Fort Bragg and a third-trimester switch to Adventist Ukiah Valley, where we’ll also deliver. We can go through Care for Her, a high-volume midwifery clinic with a rotating staff of midwives and OB oversight, also in Ukiah, with delivery at Adventist Ukiah Valley L&D. We can go to Bloom, a freestanding birth center in Ukiah with a home-birth-like environment, where we’ll see one of two midwives for every visit, including delivery and postpartum care. Or we can go with the only option that’s truly local: find one of the few practicing midwives who will still attend a home birth on the coast and try our luck in the trailer.

While it’s not what I’d call a plan, births can and do still happen at the Fort Bragg ER, now operated by Adventist Mendocino Coast. In the past two years, more than a dozen women have shown up there in labor; of those, at least two gave birth in the ER, and the rest were transported over the hill to Ukiah via ambulance.

I ask Beak whether his EMTs have ever helped deliver a baby in the ambulance. “No,” he says. “Labor often slows in transit. Birth is rarely an emergency, although we do travel at level three: lights and sirens.” The EMTs have had childbirth training, especially since the L&D closed, but, Beak says, “most of the time, we don’t do anything, because we can’t. You’re the one who has to do the work. At some point, there’s a come-to-Jesus for mom, or between mom and dad. Sure, we can support them, but there’s only one person who can have the baby.”

This attitude bears out in coast deliveries, especially when considering the differences between the obstetric and midwifery models of care. Briefly: In the obstetric model, birth is seen as a medically “managed” event. In midwifery care, the birthing parent is largely expected to do the work on their own, and medical management and intervention are viewed as causes of distress, rather than its solution.

“I grew up in Mendocino, and home birth was the norm,” says Mary Anne Cox, a nearly 20-year birth educator and doula currently living and practicing in Ukiah. Birthplace statistics from three decades ago are scant, but when I speak with Susan Wells, one of the most respected and longest-practicing midwives on the coast, she backs this up. Between 1980 and 2005, she estimates, she attended over 2,000 births, both at home and in the hospital, and especially in the beginning, home was the more popular option.

“People were really into natural childbirth,” she says. And, although it’s nowhere close to half, in 2020, Mendocino County boasted the third-highest out-of-hospital birth rate in the state, 6.6 percent, up from 5 percent in 2018. In 2022, that rate went up to 7.4 percent. Coincidentally or not, this increase was occurring at about the same time as the shuttering of MCDH’s labor and delivery services. For context, the statewide out-of-hospital birth rate is currently about 1.2 percent, up from nearly .5 percent in 2007, which follows a nationwide trend: from 2019 to 2021, the national home-birth rate went up by more than one-third.

I talk to Oscar Stedman, who had her babies in nearby coastal Caspar in the ’80s. She labored with her first daughter, Lea, in an 8-by-16 trailer. The birth was attended by a then–student midwife who’d been apprenticing with a local practitioner. “It was all pretty shady, hippie stuff,” Stedman says. I can hear her smiling on the phone. She was young, she says, a pioneer woman, trying to make it in a remote part of the world. Things were exciting, scary, new.

Her next two births took place in what she refers to as the Octagon, a 28-foot-diameter yurt-like house her husband built out of old-growth redwood and reclaimed railroad ties. She speaks of out-of-body experiences, of visions. This is the stuff of birth, she says.

“You want to know the secret to labor?” she asks me, and of course I do, desperately I do, sitting in my own trailer, listening to her voice on the phone. “It’s…let me try to explain this. It’s hard to put into words. It’s the moment that you meet a dog, a real aggressive dog, a barking dog, and you have to soften it. And you know you can. You know that if you relax, the dog will too. You bend down. You hold out your hand. You open up to it. That’s birth. That’s what birth is.”

Later, people will ask me about this analogy, whether the dog ever bites, whether it isn’t a bit naïve not to build some kind of wariness into my consciousness when it comes to birth. When they ask this, what I think they are actually asking is “Somewhere deep down, isn’t birth dangerous?” Regardless of the answer to that question, the more I learn, and the more stories I hear, the more I begin to think that fear is not a helpful ingredient, that danger is not the same as risk. It’s something you understand a bit more every season, living in a place like this.

“A lot of people have this fear of birth,” Wells tells me. “I just basically think it’s going to be OK. I trust it.”

I talk to Carlos Cervantes and his wife, Brianda Pech. When Brianda went into labor with their fifth, they drove over the hill and were told that Brianda wasn’t far enough along. After they arrived back home in Fort Bragg, labor progressed rapidly.

“We tried to make it,” Cervantes says. “We get in the car, we start driving like crazy. And then…just at Irmulco Road, she says, ‘Stop the car!’” Irmulco Road, a common local reference marker, is some 10 minutes from cell service and 40 minutes from Ukiah. “I said, ‘Why?’ She was like, ‘No, I can’t wait anymore! The baby’s coming!’”

Cervantes stopped the car, turned his wife’s body toward him, and caught his daughter’s head as it was crowning. When I ask him how the baby was, he cracks a huge smile. “She cried right away. It was crazy. I was so happy! We didn’t have anything to cut the cord, so I tied it.” His eyes are suddenly far away. Then he picks up a piece of string sitting on my desk and demonstrates the knot. I watch him, fascinated, forgetting to ask about the placenta.

An ambulance came to transport the three of them to Adventist Ukiah Valley. Mom and baby were both fine. What Cervantes remembers about the hospital is not its care but that the receptionist followed him around from the moment they got there, asking him how he was going to pay for their visit.

******

When Ben and I choose Bloom as the place we want to have the baby, our decision is, hugely, about continuity of care, but it’s also about the midwifery model. Admittedly, I’ve always been drawn to the idea of out-of-hospital birth, but like most people raised in a Western medicalized narrative, I was iffy on the idea that helping a child actually traverse its way out of my body was something I was capable of without pain medication or the oversight of a doctor. As I do in the face of all deep questions, I read exhaustively, and I found that given certain provisions (proximity of a backup OB; the presence of a qualified birth attendant—i.e., a midwife), outcomes for home birth and hospital birth for low-risk pregnancies were very similar. What I feared—risk to our safety, pain—weren’t actually things I had to fear.

When you choose to live far from other people, you learn that panic and alarm are rarely helpful in any scenario, especially an emergency. Generations have understood the importance of this kind of calm, and the personal responsibility it’s built on, but I am just now beginning to understand it as fundamental to my life. When I first moved here, I used to burst out of bed at every nighttime noise, heart pounding, flashlight at the ready, and my hand poised on our joke of a dead bolt. Now, when the dog barks or we hear the trash can topple, I get up slowly (if at all), check the window, open it, and holler if some animal is rooting through the bins.

Recently, we woke at four in the morning to a sound like nothing I’d ever heard, like something dying, a mournful, raspy keening that echoed down the valley. It was a bear cub stuck in our neighbor’s chicken coop, and we spent the dawn hours trying to facilitate the cub’s exit while avoiding the aggressively circling mother bear. The chickens had long fled, but the cub couldn’t figure out how to get out, and the mother couldn’t figure out how to get in. We waited. We shouted. We flashed our flashlights.

No one called for help, or even thought to, since who could do anything other than what we were already doing? Eventually, our neighbor scared mama off long enough to prop open a side door, and when mama came back, she and her baby trundled off into the woods. As for us and our neighbor, we’d been patient, collaborative. We’d solved a problem. Largely, that solution had involved waiting and staying out of the way.

When I imagine my own child’s birth, which I do often, it’s no accident that it’s this story, and not the dozens of birth stories I’ve heard, that comes to mind.

The stories I hear from coast women are not all perfect, but what sets them apart from the other stories I hear—stories where women’s faces go dark as they list the incremental steps by which they were made to feel abused or out of control—has something to do with choice, and a surrender to the unpredictable. Whether they birth via C-section in a surgical theater or in a pool of water surrounded by fairy lights, what seems to make birth positive is when a woman is able to remain herself and true to her own wishes. The shift underway on the coast, then, is not that our L&D care is physically farther away but rather that the options we have are shrinking. The chance for selfhood, for agency, for a type of care that aligns with our lifestyles—and our births—is disappearing.

******

At one in the morning on September 5, I wake up to contractions. It’s a full 12 days past my estimated due date, and I’ve spent weeks in a borderline psychological collapse, the reality of very late pregnancy. Every day that passed, I became more certain that I would actually be the first woman in history to be pregnant forever. When labor comes, I am grateful more than anything else. When labor comes, I hold out my hand to the snarling dog of Oscar Stedman’s vision. I have been waiting for you.

The trailer is dark. In bed, I breathe through a few contractions before I wake Ben. We are expecting the norm for most first-time moms: a slow ramp-up; a longish early labor; 6, 8, 12 hours of early dilation that I intend to weather at home, waiting until my contractions are five minutes apart before we get in the car and head over 20.

Thing is, I do not get 12 hours, or even 6. Just 2 hours in, we’ve called the midwives twice, and Ben is packing the car. I am sitting on a birthing ball in what passes for our living room. By the time we drive away from the property, my contractions are three minutes apart.

Head over to Alta Journal to read the rest of Kailyn’s birth story.

The post Creating A Birth Plan When The Nearest Hospital Is 2 Hours Away appeared first on MOTHER.

Denim Jacket Duo
Ingrid & Isabel

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Mother blessings are special and sacred ceremonies for mothers-to-be. The ceremony originated with indigenous traditions of “blessing way” ceremonies, which were traditionally held for women about to embark on a birthing journey. On their passage, one was blessed with song and dance during the ceremony. Keeping this in mind, we strive to respect other cultures and not appropriate their traditions. Thus, we hold our own modified version of this event within our community, not using the exact same title, but always acknowledging the roots of this ceremony. The concept of a mother blessing is similar to that of a baby shower, but there are major differences between the two events. For example, a baby shower emphasizes gifts to celebrate the birth of a new child, while a mother blessing emphasizes a woman’s remarkable transformation when she dedicates herself to a journey from maidenhood to motherhood. In place of opening gifts, this time is dedicated to a much more important spiritual purpose for the mother-to-be and her family.

If you are wanting to facilitate your own mother blessing, whether it is for you or a loved one, it is traditional to start by honoring everyone’s birthing ancestors and their journeys, so each woman can be present at the ceremony. During this time, members of the group can get to know one another and become close, if they are not already. Our custom is often to gather together as a group with family and friends to bless and cleanse the mother, usually by smudging the space. Among the items included in this package are candles, incense, crystals, oracle cards, flowers, and more.

Be prepared to cry during the ceremony! An emotional release session is usually incorporated into this ceremony so that the mother-to-be can express her deepest fears to those closest to her, and a ritual is done to release and let go. You can have her release her fears by writing them down on a piece of paper, sharing them with the group if she feels called, and then burning the paper and dropping it into a bowl of water. As we help her overcome her fears and prepare for her journey to the stars to retrieve her child’s soul and bring them safely home, we build her up and help her work through those fears. The mother can also experience group activities like belly bump painting, creating birth affirmation flags, making flower crowns, drawing a sacred foot bath, or receiving hand or foot massages. Whatever it takes to make her feel empowered.

At the end, the group comes together to set wishes and desires for the mama to-be. You can have each person write down a wish for the mother and the baby and bury them into the Earth or use dissolving paper and drop them into a jar of water.

Mother blessings are centered around the blessing altar. My approach as a facilitator takes several forms, and I enjoy working closely with mothers and family members ahead of time so that they may incorporate any family traditions, values, or spiritual beliefs into the circle. One example is creating a special candle for her—set and filled with intentions of love, support, and positivity. The candle can be prayed to during labor, and it can be used for any instance where light and positivity may be needed for the mother to gain her strength and complete her journey of sacred love.

It is through these blessings that we have a unique opportunity to express our love, friendship, and appreciation, all of which we feel, but are hesitant to express at times or are too caught up in the business of daily life to do so. Through these ceremonies, we gain a greater appreciation for the bonds that connect us to each other, as well as a memory that stays with us as a source of strength and resilience in our life.

As a meaningful, thoughtful alternative to a traditional baby shower, a mother blessing circle invites mothers-to-be to share their love and blessings, and it may help the mother prepare emotionally and spiritually for the arrival of her child.

If you are in the Atlanta area and would like to facilitate a mother blessing for yourself or a friend, you can fill out the form on this webpage.

The post How To Throw A Mother Blessing Ceremony appeared first on MOTHER.

1. Drop off food. New parents are way too busy (and exhausted) to ponder what they’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Help them out by dropping a meal on the doorstep, text that the grub is there (don’t ring the doorbell), and be prepared to go along with your day. If you get to see the baby or parents, bonus! Don’t worry, your normal hangout sessions will continue after a few months.

2. Organize others to drop off food. Mealtrain.com is a fantastic and easy way for a bunch of friends to pitch in and make sure the new parents are being fed during those hectic early days and months. The leader of the mealtrain can provide participants with a list of favorite foods, restaurants to order from (and specific orders), and grocery store staples. Look to get the new mama and papa a combination of healthy meals (including homemade options), one-hand snacks (who has two hands these days?!), and a few indulgent choices in there, too. (Sure, she might be on an eventual quest to loose those baby pounds, but no one doesn’t want freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies.)

3. Offer to run some errands for her. Does she need unglamorous stuff like nursing pads and diapers? Offer to grab it for her. Is her car low on gas? Fill it up for her. Also, if you find yourself near her neighborhood, a quick text to see if she needs anything is always appreciated. If you’re too busy, think about hiring her a TaskRabbit.

4. Offer to run some errands with her. That’s right, some moms would rather pour over all of the nipple cream possibilities instead of having a friend take their best guess. In these cases, offer to scoop the mom and baby up, and tend to the kid while your friend tries on nursing bras at Target or finds whatever else she might need.

5. Mind the conversation. While your new mom friend is still essentially the same person, she’s had a bit of a priority shift. Just be mindful that she might be more interested in discussing breastfeeding, diaper rash, sleep training, and other baby minutia for the first few months than your personal issues. Although, perhaps talking about the happenings in your life might feel like a welcome escape for her, just feel it out. And try not to take offense if it’s the former scenario.

6. Ask what you can do to be helpful. If the mom can’t come up with anything, look around the house and suggest some stuff. Can you fold some laundry? Wipe down the bathroom counter? Empty and refill the dishwasher? (Just please don’t ask her where every dish goes. Try to figure it out yourself.) If you’re not into cleaning and are feeling especially generous, offer to pay a housecleaner for an hour.

7. Help her figure out her new contraptions. Baby stuff can be complicated. Sometimes it requires watching YouTube videos and reading instruction manuals, all while trying to shush a wailing baby. With that in mind, ask the new mom if she needs help figuring out any of these new products, from a baby sling to a bouncer.

8. Pamper her. Trust, her body is all kinds of effed-up after having a baby (and now carrying it around all day long). Either offer to babysit so that mom can get a massage, haircut, or mani/pedi. Or, if she’d rather keep the baby close, offer to take her to the venue and watch the baby while she’s getting primped or rubbed down.

9. Don’t stay too long. (Unless you’re watching the baby while mom sleeps…then stay forever!) But, seriously, keeping a long, coherent conversation and having a high-quality hang sesh with a new mom is probably not happening these days. Don’t take it personally. It’s just temporary. She still loves you, she just doesn’t have the bandwidth to socialize like she used to.

10. Take the big kids off her hands. If your new mom friend already has another kid, offer to entertain the oldest one(s) and let mom and dad spend some solo time with the newest addition.

11. Help with the Thank You notes. Oh Thank You notes. They’re the bane of every new mom’s existence. She’s likely received a million gifts and kind gestures, and she’s likely way behind on formally sharing her appreciation for them. First things first, tell the new mom that she doesn’t need to send you a Thank You note. It’s a huge relief. Then ask her if she needs help with the others. Maybe she needs stamps stuck on envelopes? Or addresses scrawled on the front? Maybe you can help her figure out an e-card alternative? Or maybe you can just hold the baby while she is finishing them up herself.

12. Wash your hands before holding the baby (without mom having to ask). Also, don’t necessarily expect to hold the baby when you visit. A lot of new parents are super germ-conscious, and rightfully so.

13. Get her out of the house. And plan the nearby, totally manageable, baby-friendly adventure yourself (she probably doesn’t have the bandwidth). Keep it short and simple. It can even be a walk around the neighborhood. She’ll appreciate a change in setting.

14. Document the new family. It’s all too often that there are lots of pictures of mom holding the baby or dad holding the baby, but rarely of the two partners together. How about offering to grab a fancy camera (or an iPhone) and snap some family pics? If you can hold the baby for a second while mom can slap on some lipstick, that’s also appreciated.

15. Don’t freak out when the baby cries. New babies cry. It’s just what they do. It’s something that the new mom (and her friends) just need to accept. Getting all flustered about it and asking 20 questions as to why it’s happening is just going to fan the flames on the situation. Stay calm and let mom figure it out.

16. Ask if she has a to-do list she needs some help with. Everything from buying pacifiers to calling a lactation consultant is something you can help her tackle while you’re there, either by holding the baby while she handles things, or just doing them for her.

17. Offer to do a night shift or two. That is, if everyone is comfortable enough with the arrangement. Delivering the baby into mom’s arms for nursing or feeding the baby a bottle during the night is an incredibly kind gesture.

18. Load up her Netflix and DVR with good shows. Feeding a newborn every couple of hours leads to lots of TV time. Make sure she has choices other than Reba reruns.

19. When in doubt, bring diapers. One can never have enough diapers. Or wipes. Just ask what size is appropriate first.

20. Shower her and the baby with compliments. Seriously…have you ever seen a baby this cute?! Or a mama this glow-y?!

21. Don’t just focus on the baby. With the attention of everyone so squarely on the baby, sometimes the amazingness of the new mom gets lost in the shuffle. Gifting her with a great pair of button-down PJ’s, a bouquet of flowers, or throwing her a low-key potluck with her best girlfriends can all help her feel appreciated and special.

22. Keep the help comin’. Even though it gets easier as time goes on, motherhood is never really that easy. So, even when the newborn stage is over, the help of friends (and pretty much all of the tasks above) are still really incredible. She—and good karma—will eventually pay you back.

The post 20+ Things You Can Do To Help A New Mother appeared first on MOTHER.

Quit With The “Bad Mom” Jokes
The sometimes self-deprecating, sometimes self-congratulatory label is just another way of reinforcing unrealistic expectations, says Garbes, “You are a ‘bad mom’ if you have the occasional glass of wine during pregnancy, experience anxiety or ambivalence about having a baby, look forward to having an epidural, feed your baby formula, or take a pull off a joint once the kids are in bed because children are exhausting. The cultural standard is so well established that we even joke about it, proudly proclaiming ourselves ‘bad moms’ when we stray from these expectations. We are trying to reclaim a term that we’d be much better off abandoning.”

Get Schooled In Science And History
What do you know about the 1970 landmark court case Cleveland Board of Education vs. LaFleur? (Hint: It ruled that the school acted unconstitutionally when it placed a teacher on mandatory maternity leave once she started showing because “her pregnant body would alternately disgust, concern, fascinate, and embarrass her students.”) How about the backstory of fetal alcohol syndrome? “We owe it to ourselves to learn, to demand science and evidence, to seek out the full spectrum of information as it exists now,” writes Garbes. You know what’s more empowering than buying a “Breast is Best” t-shirt? Learning all about the 150 oligosaccharides in human breast milk that can’t be digested by infants, but exist solely to feed the microbes that populate a baby’s digestive system.

Demand To Be Heard By Your Doctors
“We should insist that medical professionals and scientists listen to us, the people on the front lines having the babies. Our bodies are telling us new information and giving us clues every day. ‘We are volcanoes,’ wrote the American novelist Ursula K. Le Guin. ‘When we as women offer our experiences as our truth, as human truth, all the maps change. There are new mountains.’ My hope in writing this book is the same as Le Guin’s: ‘That’s what I want—I want to hear you erupting.'”

Don’t Be Distracted By The Mommy Wars
“I believe we all want to make the conversations around pregnancy and motherhood as inclusive and encouraging as possible. But because women don’t all receive the support we deserve, we often find ourselves dividing along arbitrary lines about the choices we make: what we drink (or don’t drink) during pregnancy, how we give birth, how we feed our kids, where we let them sleep, and so on. While all of these things are important in day-to-day life, they are not the problems or issues that have kept American women down for centuries. …The problems we face are much bigger: a culture in which men hold nearly all of the legal and economic power; a society in which whiteness is considered the norm and superior to other races and cultures; and economic system that relies on, but does not adequately value, domestic work that is performed overwhelmingly by women (or, if you prefer: patriarchy, white supremacy, and American capitalism).”

Listen To Your Mother
Or the other women in your life. “Women have grown, birthed, and raised babies with the benefit of knowledge passed down through generations of other women. For centuries, in every culture around the world, midwives guided birth. They were mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and neighbors—older women who had no formal training other than decades of firsthand knowledge and experience. They advised laboring women on when to move, rest, or push, offered physical and herbal comfort, delivered babies, and tended to mothers and babies in the days and weeks after birth. They understood pregnancy and birth as significant but normal events in the lives of women, not illnesses or conditions that needed to be treated.”

Embrace Your Body’s Evolution
“I wonder why we need new mothers to look like we did before we had babies. Why we push ourselves to ‘get our bodies back.’ My body will never go back to what it was; it’s made a person, travelled to another dimension, and given birth to another world. The journey has left more than a few marks. I want to embrace that. …We look externally to control what is inevitable, what is ordinary. Or maybe we look to the external as a way of giving order to the disarray inside us. Either way, physical changes are natural and they follow their own timeline. I think of the caterpillar, brown and soupy in its cocoon, awaiting its big moment. A world full of slow transformations. Coral, bleached of its colors by rising ocean temperatures, doesn’t pretend to be unaffected by its nature. Rocks, worn into smooth submission over years by tumbling water, don’t deny what has happened to them.”

Learn About (and Pay Attention To) Your Pelvic Floor
“These are the muscles our bodies use to hold and remove waste, to support our organs, to reproduce. This is our seat of power: where we experience ecstasy and vulnerability, where we conceive, grow, and pass our children into the world…the pelvic floor is both an essential guardian and gateway, yet we are taught virtually nothing about its anatomy or function. …In the long, messy, fluid- and excrement-soaked work of childbirth, the muscles of our pelvic floor can take a massive beating. It is believed that one in three mothers sustain pelvic floor injuries while giving birth.”

Be An Advocate for All Women And Their Birth Choices And Outcomes
“Today, feminism means supporting women in whatever method of birth they want. …Aside from a baby’s exit from the body, there is no single experience that makes a birth ‘complete’ or ‘normal’ or ‘right.'”

Acknowledge That You Have Been Monumentally And Irreversibly Changed
“In medicine, microchimerism refers to a body’s harboring of cells or DNA that are genetically distinct from itself—genetic material that developed in the body of another person. …Emerging science reveals that most likely all of us have at least a few cells from our mothers—and, astonishingly, other people, including maternal grandmothers, and possibly older siblings—in our bodies. Throughout pregnancy, our cells commingle, crossing borders—the placenta, the blood-brain barrier—that were once thought to be impenetrable. The reality of microchimerism requires us to reconsider the the concept of ‘self’ entirely. We are never alone, we never have been… The idea of being constituted by others goes against the myth of America’s rugged individualism. Our culture praises personal achievement and fulfillment, but places much less value on paying attention to and caring for the needs of others. Parenting requires that you put someone else’s needs ahead of your own. We are made up of others, we are changed by others, and we need others. The obliteration of your old self can be disorienting and disheartening, but it can also be a source of great power and transformation. Mothers understand this.”

Don’t Spend Too Much Time on the Internet
“Every article we click on through Facebook and Twitter, every Google query we type in, and every Instagram post we ‘Like’ trigger algorithms, so the information and images we see are constantly being custom fitted to our interests…When pregnant friends have asked me for advice about things, I tell them, only half-jokingly, to never look on the internet.”

You can buy Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy via Bookshop, Amazon, and wherever books are sold.

For more on having a mindful, informed pregnancy (and parenthood) journey, check out this list of Mother-approved books on a variety of motherhood-themed subjects, as well as ace info about maintaining pelvic floor health, and 20+ things your friends and family can do to support you as a new mother.

This article was originally published on March 4, 2019.

The post How to Have a “Feminist Pregnancy” appeared first on MOTHER.

1. Vintage Hipster Names. Heirloom names that give wafts of generations past.
Girl Examples: Agnes, Betty, Constance, Dorothea, Florence, Harriet, Hilda, Ida, Lois, Loretta, Lucinda, Maude, Minerva, Odette, Opal, Theodosia, Wilhemina, Winifred.
Boy Examples: Abner, Alistair, Ambrose, Archibald, Boaz, Casper, Chester, Cosmo, Ira, Jethro, Lazarus, Lev, Lyle, Montgomery, Mordechai, Phineas, Roscoe, Stanley, Thaddeus, Winslow.

2. International Hipster Names. Unexpected monikers with roots beyond the U.S. borders.
Girl Examples: Anahita, Apolline, Asha, Clemence, Eithne, Eleni, Eluned, Fenna, Io, Kyomi, Lotta, Lua, Ludovica, Marta, Petra, Puck, Saga, Sigrid.
Boy Examples: Artis, Bram, Corentin, Dev, Duarte, Elio, Fergus, Ivo, Lars, Laszlo, Ludo, Klaus, Moritz, Nino, Oisin, Pim, Tadhg, Timo, Vanya, Viggo.

3. Hipster Nature Names. Names that look to the great outdoors for inspiration (check out 50+ flower-themed names for more ideas!).
Girl Examples: Andromeda, Blossom, Bloom, Clover, Cricket, Fern, Hyacinth, Indigo, Indre, Lark, Lavender, Lilac, Marigold, Pepper, Plum, Prairie, Saffron, Soleil, Sparrow, Zinnia.
Boy Examples: Canyon, Cedar, Field, Frost, Grove, Hawthorn, Huckleberry, Leaf, Mars, Mercury, Moss, Oak, Ocean, Peregrine, Quill, Quince, Reef, Ridge, Wolf, Woody.

4. Geek Chic Names. Basically, deep vintage names that still have a bit of time to resurface.
Girl Examples: Agatha, Avis, Bernadette, Cornelia, Dinah, Edna, Enid, Geraldine, Gertrude, Gladys, Henrietta, Imogene, Mildred, Myrtle, Nadine, Prudence, Sybil, Thelma, Ursula, Zelma.
Boy Examples: Arnold, Barnaby, Clement, Clifford, Clive, Cornelius, Ennis, Eugene, Grover, Herbert, Homer, Irving, Irwin, Lester, Lloyd, Nigel, Oswald, Rufus, Seymour, Virgil.

5. Hipster Hero Names. Monikers inspired by your favorite icons and protagonists.
Girl Examples: Arrietty, Bowie, Briony, Bronte, Didion, Djuna, Flannery, Greer, Holiday, Isolde, Kahlo, Nightingale, Nyx, Pippi, Poe, Scout, Solange, Wednesday, Zadie, Zora.
Boy Examples: Ansel, Brando, Calder, Coltrane, Eames, Elvis, Ferris, Gable, Hawkins, Langston, Mccoy, Mingus, Noam, Rohmer, Tennyson, Ulysses, Wilbur, Whistler.

6. Hipster Nickname Names. It sounds like it’s short for something, but—surprise!—it’s the whole name.
Girl Examples: Bee, Bess, Billie, Birdie, Bobbie, Cleo, Coco, Dolly, Dot, Goldie, Lou, Lulu, Minnie, Pixie, Polly, Posy, Sally, Tilly, Trixie, Zibby.
Boy Examples: Alfie, Beck, Chaz, Frank, Gene, Gus, Hank, Hodge, Huck, Ike, Iggy, Jules, Kip, Kit, Monty, Ned, Ozzy, Rudy, Sonny, Ziggy.

Need more baby name inspiration? Check out the top 10 baby naming trends of 2023, 100+ Halloween baby names, the 200 most popular baby names of 2022 and House Of The Dragon baby names we predict will be trending soon!

The post 200+ Hipster Baby Names 2023 Parents Will Love appeared first on MOTHER.

We suggest you comb through our list of postpartum essentials for mom, narrow down your own necessities, and then place your orders for your top postpartum products. Consider doing this sooner rather than later to make sure you have important supplies on hand once baby arrives. Any post partum care products you purchase that remain unused can often be returned later (be sure to check the return policies on all items before you buy). As our own mamas have often told us: Better to be safe than sorry! Start building your postpartum recovery kit below!

2. Baby Wipes. Same goes for baby wipes—an item high-up in anyone’s postpartum checklist. Here are the options at go-to retailers Amazon and Target. One of the mamas we interviewed for this list swore by the gentle Water Wipes for her daughter’s diaper rash.

3. Diaper Rash Cream. That same mother recommended Desitin Maximum Strength Diaper Rash Cream for helping clear up her newborn daughter’s rash. But there are plenty of other brands and options out there. For an indie choice, check out Curasalve, the brainchild of a D.C. mother of two, who created her company focused on postpartum essentials for mom.

Breastfeeding & Formula Feeding:

4. Formula & Bottles. There’s no telling if breastfeeding will work out for you until you actually get home and try it. Therefore, the mamas we talked to recommended having some formula (and bottles!) at home, especially harder to find brands, which often have lengthy waits to receive. Pediatrician offices will often have formula that you can take home to tide you over free of charge. When shopping in-store for formula, be sure to avoid brands that qualify for the WIC program (signified by the word WIC with a red circle around it). These products should be reserved for women and their children who qualify for WIC by being at or below the poverty line.

5. Nipple Cream. If you have the means, our mamas recommend trying two different nipple ointments to see which you prefer. One of them also had a specific endorsement for the Nursing Balm by Erbaviva. If you end up breastfeeding, nipple creams in the early days are must-have postpartum supplies.

6. Nursing Bra. Try buying one or two nursing bras (and/or nursing tanks) in advance of the birth of your child to see what fits most comfortably. We have heard great things about the options from Storq and Hatch, and of course there are numerous choices via Target, Amazon, and other big retailers. For an organic cotton option alongside other postpartum necessities, check out Pact.

7. Pumping Bra. There are decidedly less options out there for hands-free pumping bras. However, Hatch has recently debuted a good-looking version and there are also these standbys (and Target has a few, too). Your postpartum must haves list should definitely include a hands-free bra option if you plan to pump.

8. Nursing Pads. Used to stick into your bra and soak up milk from leaky breasts, nursing pads are one of those postpartum care products that are key for the early postpartum days. Our mamas recommend the thin and super absorbent Latch pads by Munchkin. For an eco choice, there are also several kinds of washable, reuse-able pads.

9. Pump. There are lots of pump models out there for your postpartum needs, from hands-free versions, to our current favorite plug-in option: the Motif Luna. Make sure you do some research beforehand to see if your insurance will cover a hospital-grade pump for you. For popular wearable options, there’s the Willow and Elvie.

10. Lactation Tea & Supplements. We love the tasty lactation tea blends from Oat Mama, as well as the Slay Mama lactation capsules, but there are plenty of other brands that aim to be the best tea for postpartum ailments and to boost milk production! A delightful postpartum tea will be one of the postpartum products you’ll look forward to creating a ritual around!

11. Heat Pads & Ice Packs. Straight from the mouth of a new mama: “I use a heat pad pre-nursing to help milk let down. I use cold compress after for soothing.” Personally, we are fans of Earth Mama’s Booby Tubes, Frida Mom’s Instant Breast Heaters, Lansinoh’s TheraPearl Breast Therapy Pack, and rice packs from the indie brand Beloved. If nursing is a part of your plan, these postpartum items are a must!

Down There Care:

12. Pads. For the best postpartum pads, look for overnight or postpartum specific options. Our mamas preferred Lola Organic pads, and dye-free organic versions via Target, but most any brand will do!

13. Peri Bottle. Designed for perineal recovery, a water bottle with an angled spout is key. There’s a good one by Frida Mom—it’s one of many great postpartum recovery essentials the brand makes!

14. Postpartum Undies. There are often two things you might fall in love with in the delivery room—your baby, and the incredibly stretchy and utilitarian giant mesh undies they give you. Stock up on a few pairs of similarly roomy and supportive panties for your home to keep your postpartum comfort at a maximum. Frida Mom has an 8-pack of disposable postpartum underwear and ModiBodi has a leak-proof Postpartum Control Brief you’ll want to keep forever.

15. Adult Diapers. Beyond the best after birth underwear, you can also go the “adult diaper” route. Simply Google or browse your local drugstore to find the best diaper for postpartum. Hot tip: at the hospital or birthing center, ask the nurses to send you home with some extra undies (same goes for pads, pacifiers, formula, etc.).

16. Healing Pads & Hot/Cold Packs: For more down-there relief, look into the best postpartum ice packs, gel healing pads, and perineal cold packs with witch hazel (there are both disposable and reuseable options). You can buy this affordable best witch hazel for postpartum and there are lots of recipes to DIY your own.

17. Soothing Spray. For additional relief, try scooping up the best perineal spray a.k.a. a soothing/cooling spray that contains witch hazel to make your first week in the bathroom more tolerable.

18. Sitz Bath Supplies. Speaking of the bathroom, invest in some sitz bath supplies to sooth your hard working body. One of our mamas suggested Thena’s Sitz Bath Soak, which you can put straight into your bathtub or over-the-toilet soaking tub. Many swear by this duo of post partum items. Indie brand Matana Organics, founded by Gabriela Babila, also makes a fabulous herbal sitz bath filled with the best postpartum essential oils.

General Meds & Other Postpartum Essentials Comforts:

19. Medicine Cabinet Staples. Double check that you have your medicine cabinets must-haves in place. Our mamas suggested Advil for pain relief, multivitamins, and a quick search for the best postpartum stool softener, like Colace and Miralax. They aren’t branded as post partum products per se, but they are ideal for the early weeks of recovery.

20. Shower Chair. For women dealing with c-section recovery, this adjustable bath and shower chair is recommended for less painful bathing. Also, a quick search for the best toilet paper for sensitive vag days.

21. Comfy Clothes With Easy Boob Access. The options are endless! Check out Storq, Hatch, A Pea in the Pod, Ingrid & Isabel, Pact, and Latched Mama for starters.

22. Snacks (& Prune Juice). Be sure to have plenty of snacks packed with fiber and protein (bonus points if they can be eaten with one hand—think: granola bars!). Also, prune juice to keep things moving easily and with less pain post-birth.

23. Pillows. A nursing pillow for the baby and also wedge pillow to prop mama up while breastfeeding can be great sources of comfort in the early weeks and months postpartum.

24. Water Bottle. For breastfeeding and beyond, staying hydrated is key.

Things For Baby (Beyond Postpartum Essentials For Mom):

25. Thermometers. Ideally you would invest in a digital forehead version and a rectal option.

26. Nose Frida. Also known as a snot-sucker. If you don’t use your Nose Frida in the early infant months, it will most definitely come in handy during the toddler years.

27. Changing Pad. This one, the Keekaroo Peanut changing pad, is easy to wipe down, and—we’re told—worth every penny.

28. Pacifier. While many moms are anti-paci, it might make sense to have a binky on hand for when the going gets rough (granted that your child will even accept one!).

29. Baby Seat or Bouncer. A good one for your registry (along with your crib, clothing, toys, and all of the other trimmings). Something like this by Baby Bjorn or Ergobaby will buy you time in the early days to take a shower or do other hands-free deeds. The Tot carries the beloved Charlie Crane rocker with organic fabrics. Meanwhile, Amazon and Target also have a variety of options.

30. Baby Meds: The mamas we polled recommended having infant pain-reliever, saline drops, and Vitamin D drops on hand.

However, each baby’s needs are different and—beyond the pain reliever, which often can’t be used until a newborn’s later months—we recommend picking up any other baby meds on a case-by-case basis once you need them.

31. Help Lined Up! Check out these 20+ ways to help a new mom to anticipate your needs post-baby (and to pass along to your loved ones!).

Did we miss one of your favorite postpartum essentials? Let us know your newborn days must-haves in the comments below!

For more pregnancy-related content, check out our Guide To Pregnancy During The COVID-19 Crisis, as well as our list of The Best Minimalist Pregnancy Essentials.  

The post The 31 Best Postpartum Essentials Every New Mom Needs Now appeared first on MOTHER.

Something Stretchy Under Oversized Layers. “I’m such a uniform dresser and have found that a slim silhouette underneath an oversized layer to be my formula of choice these days with a growing belly. The OZMA Sloan Duster, OZMA Sloan Cardi, and Belle Handknit Cardi from the OZMA Fair Trade Knits Collection are my go-to layers on chilly days, and the OZMA Vija Shirt in warmer weather. They all work well over a plain bralette—like the black OZMA Reva Tank (which is a versatile tencel rib long bralette-meets-tank great for ever-changing boobs)—or a cropped tee like the raw silk jersey OZMA Lia Top with a pair of slim stretchy pants, like the Storq Signature Leggings underneath. If I want to feel a bit more dressed up, the OZMA Claudia Dress in raw silk jersey gets compliments every time I wear it). The low scoop neck shows a perfect amount of skin and the slim but not too tight silhouette is really flattering.” OZMA Fair Trade Knits Collection & Other Items, $78 and up, OZMA. Storq Signature Leggings, $68, Storq.

Baby Friendly Deep Moisture. “I slather Bāeo Bare Butter all over my belly, hips, and chest every time I get out of the shower. It’s got a light chamomile scent and is multi-purpose too. It’s good for both moms and kids and doesn’t sit too heavy on my skin. When I got pregnant, I had to swap a few skincare items and am elated to have found True Botanicals Chebula Extreme Cream, which is super hydrating for my 40+ skin and made with babe-safe ingredients.” Bāeo Bare Butter, $20, Bāeo. Chebula Extreme Cream, $110, True Botanicals.

Physical Sun Protection. “For everyday protection, I use Iris & Romeo Best Skin Days SPF 25. I’m not big on makeup in general, but I dig this tinted moisturizer out of all of them I’ve tried. It feels light and natural. When I’m hiking or outdoors, I get a bit more serious and use Elta MD UV Elements Broad Spectrum SPF 44, which has a bit more SPF, but a tint that blends in nicely without a white cast. Nothing beats a wide brimmed hat, however, and my Lorna Murray Capri Hat from Here Store is foldable so I don’t have to worry about it getting sat on or crushed by my dog in the car.” Best Skin Days SPF 25, $42, Iris & Romeo. EltaMD UV Elements Broad-Spectrum SPF 44, $38.50, Dermstore. Lorna Murray Capri Hat, $148, Maisonette and Here.

Muscle and Mind Melting Baths. “I love the anti-inflammatory properties and earthy smell of Sprouts brand Epsom Salts with Rose and Geranium. For extra TLC when I’m in the bath, I use the purifying LESSE Bioactive Mask on my face and the Mount Lai Black Obsidian Gua Sha all over my thighs and hips to relieve any tension or muscle pain and promote circulation.” Sprouts Pink Himalayan And Epsom Salt, $6.79, Instacart. LESSE Bioactive Mask, $65, Revolve. Mount Lai Black Obsidian Gua Sha Facial Lifting Tool, $30, Sephora.

Quality Time In Water. “I’m a total water person, but around halfway through my pregnancy I chose to pause on surfing because of the big crowds in LA. Finding my local outdoor pool has been a sanity saver, especially when it’s too hot to hike or be active outdoors otherwise. The weightless feeling of gliding through water and moving my body without feeling overheated or heavy is a dream. I love my YouSwim Aplomb Two-Piece Swimsuit that always fits no matter what. In my swim bag are the Baggu Mushroom Go Pouches, which are so fun and so cute. Right now I’m using these to keep an outfit change and shower kit. I’ll probably get more for kid stuff that I need to keep organized like in our diaper bag.” Aplomb High Waist Two-Piece, $139, YouSwim. Baggu Go-Pouch Set, $36, Baggu.

A Grounding Start To The Day. “The Yoga Library by Jamie Hepburn is a day-changing morning ritual with beautiful playlists. I love the 30-minute slow classes by Jamie. When I wasn’t sleeping well or waking up early and feeling low energy in my first trimester, these were really grounding and meditative for me. Now that I’m further along, I need to do some pose modifications, but her classes are still my favorite. Glo has more specific prenatal classes geared towards pain reduction and prevention.”

Fun Nutrition. “It was so hard to take prenatals daily that smelled and tasted awful. I was so glad to find the Ritual Prenatal Vitamin lemon-scented capsules that make it enjoyable. All through this pregnancy I’ve consistently craved berries and thick, full-fat greek yogurt, Straus Organic Whole Greek Yogurt being the best I’ve found. My favorite healthy dessert is to mix it with honey, Maldon salt, and a few blueberries or pomegranate seeds, spread it into a thin layer and freeze it. It makes a really delicious bark that I find totally addictive. I couldn’t live without my little Zwilling Blender, which is unoffensive on my countertop and is super easy to clean every day after my morning smoothie.” Ritual Essential Prenatal Multivitamin, $27.30, Ritual. Organic Whole Plain Greek Yogurt, $8, Straus Family Creamery. Zwilling Enfinigy Personal Blender, $129, Zwilling.

Words of Wisdom. “Nothing beats a good conversation with my mom friends, but a good book is close second. My partner bought me Nurture by Erica Chidi as soon as we found out I was pregnant. It’s a beautifully conversational and warm book that feels like chatting with an old friend. The First 40 Days also has so much wisdom on the value of self-care, accepting help, and slowing down as a new mom.” Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood, And Trusting Yourself and Your Body, $21.34, Bookshop and Amazon. The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother, $30.23, Bookshop and Amazon.

Anything That Encourages Good Sleep. “I can’t think of many better investments than quality sleep. We just recently upgraded to an Avocado Mattress for my partner and I, and the nursery. My big problem now is that I never want to get out of bed. Our big (but worthy!) splurge for the nursery is a Kalon Crib, which is stunningly made of sustainably sourced wood and adapts to a growing kid since it converts to a toddler bed. I love my Coop Body Pillow for getting into the right sleeping position. It never flattens out, but some of the memory foam can also be removed if it’s too full for my needs later on.” Eco Organic Crib Mattress, $349, Avocado. Caravan Crib, $1495, Kalon. Coop Original Body Pillow, $80, Amazon.

For more Mother Essentials, peep our recent features on Phoebe Sung of Cold Picnic, Sach Paneer founder Jasleen Kaur, Essential Labor author Angela Garbes, The Mamas author Helena Andrews-Dyer, Olivia J founder Shae Jones, author Brynne Barnes, Tisha Thompson of LYS Beauty, Blueland’s Sarah Paiji Yoo, Heirloom’s Sri Bodanapu, Lady Falcon Coffee Club founder Buffy Maguire, the mama-duo behind Spring & Mulberry chocolate, Dear Bella Creamery co-founder Alice Cherng, designer Becky Hui Chan, author Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow, ByHeart co-founder Mia Funt, Backdrop founder Natalie Ebel, Oui The People founder & CEO Karen Young, author-illustrator Grace Lin, the co-founders of ODDOBODY, Happy Family Organics’ CEO Anne Laraway, YA author J.Elle, kid-lit authors Karen Chan and Suzanne Greenlaw, the founders of EADEM, and Minimalista author Shira Gill.

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