At Home With Katie Chirgotis Wolf of Eothen
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Vanessa Mona Hellmann
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Inside the flower-filled home, studio, and world of the Santa Cruz, California-based talent behind the beloved Eothen brand.
A state of perpetual transition is something we all find ourselves in. And at the time that we interviewed Katie Chirgotis Wolf—the superstar florist behind the Eothen brand—she was deep in it.
As Katie invited us over to her gorgeously rustic home in Corralitos, California, she was navigating new motherhood alongside a major shift in her career—including the shuttering of her beautiful, beloved shop, Eothen Circle.
Now, with some distance from that transition, the Southern-born, California-dwelling mother of one (Bowie Mar, 2) has been cooking up a new project she’s calling Eothen Earth.
The brand-new venture is comprised of Eothen’s signature floral services, as well as digital tutorials, one-on-one mentorship, and a covetable online shop selling candles, books, Katie’s own Depths tarot deck, and even a stay at the dreamy ADU on her property.
Below, we get to meet the deep-thinking woman behind the Eothen brand—who fills us in on her journey to motherhood (“I’d always felt capable of potentially being a mother, but haven’t always felt it was the path I wanted to walk,” she says), juggling a creative career alongside raising her daughter, and how leaning into her intuition will always be the right answer.
Grab a big cup of something warm, take some time to settle in, and enjoy!
Be sure to follow Katie on Instagram at @eothen_ and check out her new project eothen.earth
While you’re at it—enter to win our Lion’s Gate Portal 8/8 giveaway—one lucky winner will receive a virtual floral class with Katie!
Did you always know you wanted to be a mother?
"That ebbed and flowed in waves over me. I’d always felt capable of potentially being a mother, but haven’t always felt it was the path I wanted to walk. I remember being 26 and in a secure relationship with an older, devoted man and thinking to myself, 'Huh, if we got pregnant, I think we should just do this thing!' I also remember being 36 and in a secure marriage with my younger, devoted husband and thinking to myself, 'Wow, if I got pregnant, I would fully freak out and maybe not do this thing.'"
"It’s a topic you’re often asked to qualify when 1.) You have a uterus. 2.) You’re in a committed relationship. 3.) You reach a certain age. I know this thread of conversation is a way for people to connect and feel they can get to know you. Perhaps it's even a way to feel safe, or not—in sharing their own experience. But as I got older—the more I was asked. The more I was surrounded by my peers with one, two, or more babies arriving—the more I reveled in the mild shock registered when I gave a flat 'no,' without much explanation. I rebelled against the expectation that I would choose motherhood over my work, creativity, freedom. It's only the very few of us (any of us?!) who get to hold both worlds."
"But I was also creating a shield for myself—safeguarding against a niggling fear that maybe I couldn’t get pregnant in the first place. And if I did, was it in deep conflict with my politics and just increasing the resource exploitation load on the planet? And if I did, what if I was terrible at mothering, didn’t do it right or, worse, failed?"
"I’m envious of those for whom it’s such a binary answer, but I’m also fairly certain that, for most of us, we don’t truly know our desires until we’re already wading into their depths. Or, despite the immersion, continue to question forever. But the wrestle of self-inquiry, reflection, and exploration! It makes us interesting and deeply human."
"My husband and I were not-not trying, but it was still a surprise to see a '+' on the test in May 2022. Then, even more a surprise to miscarry. Despite my efforts to resolve it without medical intervention and amidst the falling hammer of Dobbs, I required a DNC. Suddenly I was a part of this gossamer web of every mother who has ever lived, and every mother who has lost a child. It was also a clarifying experience: I DID want to be a mother, and to a child that stayed on this side."
How was your pregnancy with your daughter?
"After the DNC, I tripled down on my health and ran down a path of understanding just exactly what I was made of. Literally. Nearly four decades in and I had no clue when I ovulated, or where my cervix was. Dead serious. I also lite-communed with a river goddess on New Year’s Eve 2022 whilst on a shroom trip…perhaps a story for another day, but two weeks later I fell pregnant again and it stuck."
"Even in the thrall that my body was taking over, relinquishing that control wasn’t something I easily accepted. Despite wanting to be pregnant, I was embarrassed to not love the experience. Pregnancy taps a combo code that unlocks a secret blueprint to a whole new shape your body can make, and for me that required pushing up against an inherent resistance to maintain a shape that was known and I felt comfortable in. Self-image, sexuality, the literal effect of gravity is all being recalibrated—and it’s wild. For me, the experience of pregnancy was an exercise of acceptance. Which, of course, makes absolute sense for all that is to come."
“I rebelled against the expectation that I would choose motherhood over my work, creativity, freedom. It’s only the very few of us (any of us?!) who get to hold both worlds.”
What about your birth experience?
"About 20-ish weeks in, I started to notice other shifts that felt strange—but to me it was all strange! These weren’t symptoms any of my friends had relayed, so I chalked it up to my unique experience in being a little older, a little work-addicted, a little unrelenting to continue with my life at usual speed while I just happened to be housing a growing human."
"A tremor would start from center and rattle out to my limbs. The bend of my knees, elbows, and jaw felt like they were vibrating, like when you’ve been startled and the adrenaline settles in the bends of your body. Daily nosebleeds from pulling on a boot, getting up to answer the door, turning over in my sleep. An odd surge of pressure pushing up from my chest to behind my eyes."
"Linking back to my fear that I wouldn’t 'do it right,' I didn’t share much of my experience with others, or my doctor, despite the numbers climbing on blood pressure readings. I was afraid that my body, my self, was already failing. That these symptoms and numbers were indications that I wasn’t strong, healthy, ZEN enough to handle the experience. Medical professionals advised me to take a 30-minute walk after work, or 'download the Calm app and try meditation,' or that I had an anxious-attachment issue that needed to be addressed. Ahem. Well-meaning perhaps, but it sent me into a low boil. I skipped my last few appointments and just continued to immerse myself in my work because THAT felt like something I could control."
"In the end, the stories of how we birth our children are inextricably linked to giving up long held notions about ourselves. Stories that are both our undoing, and our rebuilding. You do things that seem impossible, folkloric, and emerge on the other side forever changed. Anyone who experienced severe preeclampsia will recognize all I spoke of above. I was lucky that I got to 40 weeks before letting go of the banks of what I knew, and letting myself be swept away. I was lucky to have an amazing partnership with my doula, Amy, and my husband, who held fast to the sails and helped navigate a harrowing medical experience I did absolutely no prep for. I was lucky to have incredible nurses who kept my gaze, listened to what I desired, and whispered advice as things spiraled towards what I didn’t. I was lucky to have a healthy, perfect, ancient soul placed on my chest after days of labor. I was lucky. Am lucky."
Tell us about the name you chose for your daughter.
"While pregnant, Jacob and I lobbed names back and forth, never landing. I’d suggest something, he’d say it was a name of an annoying person in high school. He’d suggest something, I’d look at him incredulously, 'so you want our kid to be called 'Jerry?' It was actual comedy."
"I spent a lot of time as a girl glued to my parents’ stereo system, listening to albums that took me to wild places in my mind, and wild dance moves in my body. If you asked me to count the number of times I’ve listened to David Bowie’s cannon of work, I honestly couldn’t tell you. On my first date with Jacob, I steadied myself by feeding all the coins I had flirted from his pocket into the dive bar jukebox. Playing every Bowie song they had. When the Thin White Duke passed on, I had to take the day off work. I’ve had vivid dreams where Bowie has given me tattoos. In the spiritual belief that you can be connected to ancestors who aren’t your blood—well, I choose the Starman."
"When our daughter arrived, it was clear this wasn’t her first rodeo. Very present, clear eyed, us choosing each other without prior meeting. People said the word 'magic' around her within the first few hours (footnote: all babies are magic and I’m sure people say this around every newborn, but I was on a hormone ride and took it very seriously). Jacob and I said a few names that had stuck it out on the list. 'Bowie' was it."
"I’m from the south and have a thing for a double first name. I just love the formality and extra-ness. Why have one name when you can have a handful! Her second first name is 'Mar,' for the sea and is a name we share–my middle name was Marie, but is shortened to 'Mar' as well."
"Her middle name 'Anaïs' is from the writer Anaïs Nin, who bucked against social norms, lover and muse to author Henry Miller. Jacob and I married at the Henry Miller Memorial Library in Big Sur in 2018."
"Jacob is not from the south but, somehow, has the double first name of Jacob Wolf. We didn’t take each other’s last names when we married and toyed with the idea of making a last name of our own down the line, so that finally got settled by making 'Wolf' her, and our, surname."
Did you find out you were having a daughter while you were pregnant?
"We kept it a surprise, which surprised people. How often do you get that level of 'ta-da' in your life? So, why not! That invites lots of opinions and hypotheses: 'You’re carrying low, must be a boy.' 'You’re still beautiful—girls steal your beauty, so there’s no way it’s a girl.' 'You’ve got melasma, bound to be a boy.'
"When I would speak to this person I was carrying—mostly polite requests to stay inside until October because I had booked work and hadn’t set up a nursery—I would speak to them as my daughter. It was the dynamic I knew, the way I spoke to myself, and we were still one person. I often felt they were going to dive left or right at the last minute—choose their sex right before they were born. Not biologically correct, but the vibe felt was that they just weren’t all hung up on gender. They just wanted to be a Being and chill."
Has having Bowie made you think differently about gender?
"Our hope is that her given name is one that can wave in whatever gender direction she chooses and remain a talisman to her true self. But, all said. I’m excited to, desirous of, raising my daughter into someone confident, sovereign, brave, secure. Someone who can make mistakes and not feel like the world is ending. Someone who embraces failure as growth. Someone who moves from the merit of her character, and not by others’ projections on her face. It takes reconditioning to not lean on words like 'pretty,' 'sweet,' and 'good' when speaking about girls—but I do believe when she’s older she’ll wave those words away as vehemently as she waves away hands that want to touch her hair (it’s curly and hard not to touch, but it seriously pisses her off if you do)."
How would you describe your upbringing?
"My young childhood was in the rural piedmont region of North Carolina, where my father did his training with the airlines and began a lifetime career as a flight attendant. The rest was in a tiny two-stoplight town in tidewater Virginia, my mother’s hometown and where she began working again as an elementary teacher. My younger brother and I went to the same primary and secondary school that my mother had attended. There were 69 people in my graduating class; everyone knew everybody, and they certainly knew your family, so you couldn’t get away with much. Maybe a good thing, as it was the '90s and we all were latchkey, middle-class kids hanging out in Food Lion parking lots and garages hazed with cigarette smoke."
What were your parents like?
"My mother and father were cool, different than the other parents of my friends. In the early '70s they drove across the country in a VW van and moved to Hawaii, returning to the mainland to have me in their thirties. My father is a talented and avid gardener, we were eating organic produce long before it was stickered in the grocery store. My mother is a walking sparkler, people fall in love with her on first sight and she’s the life of every party. Nearly every ex I’ve ever had asked if they could still call my mom after we broke up. My parents are attractive, active people who continue to work out, I kid you not, every day as they enter their seventh decade. Long story short, they are Goals."
"We had our challenges, too. So long as my brother and I were keeping up our grades and relatively staying out of trouble, my mother didn’t fuss with us and highly valued her time and space. That meant we had a lot of space, too. My father is a strong, physical force who always found joy in the capabilities of the body. Sport was the path to belonging and security. I did my best, but am sadly no athlete. Shorter than most, in deep competition with myself, but terrified to compete against others. My gentle brother, even less so. I spent a lot of energy, and anger, pushing into the desire to please my parents and pulling myself away from them."
"I see now that as parents, you rely on the tools you have to love, protect, and connect with your children. One size does not fit all, and everyone deserves the grace to change—even when you’re the adult in the room. I’m happy to say that after a large amount of self-exploration and a determination to open—my relationship with my parents is now one infused with closeness and mutual respect."
“You do things that seem impossible, folkloric, and emerge on the other side forever changed.”
Are there things from your—and your husband's—upbringing that you're consciously trying to incorporate into Bowie Mar's upbringing?
"My parents have never cared much for material things. Never drove fancy cars, didn’t give any thought to trends. My father hated the idea of labels so much that he would cut them out of his clothes and rub them off objects. They value nature, beauty, health, and family above all. To them, that is true wealth. To cultivate that abundance in our lives and be steadfast in a commitment that all the stuff is just STUFF is paramount in an age where we are all constantly comparing ourselves to the percepted lives of others."
"I lucked out in the in-law department; I met Jacob on the second week when I moved to California and his Californian family wrapped me right up in their embrace. I’m as close to his siblings as my own. His mother is a powerful, passionate, opinionated woman and an incredible self-made artist. She suffers no fools and is, in my mind, singlehandedly changing the cultural landscape of what could quickly be dismissed as a boring sprawl of suburbia in Orange County. His father is a deeply kind and gentle man. A very different energy from my own father. You can be whomever you are and that’s ok with him. To practice that wide-armed embrace, be exactly as you are, and know that can positively impact your community feels like the bedrock of what I want to lay for Bowie's character."
"And then what a gift to leave what did not serve behind. My prayer is that as Bowie's parents we are present, not pressing. Loving, not judging. Strong, not structured."
You seem in touch with nature and spirit in your life—is this something you're trying to infuse into Bowie Mar's childhood?
"I think about this a lot, much in relation to the aforementioned experience of being parented. The inevitability that your kid is going to rebel against what you’re into because that’s a natural and healthy response as they begin to self-actualize."
"My current theory is that I continue to be who I am, and model that I am unafraid of that for her. We keep it mellow and lowkey—spending A LOT of time outside. We ask permission before we approach plants and animals, reading the room before we interact with them further. We’re in water every night to wash the energy off from the day. We greet the sun, the moon, and give gratitude for the gifts of the Earth. As she gets older, I’ll tell her stories, let her join me in rituals if she feels like it. Allow her to cast herself off and be ready and waiting for when she draws close."
"Last year, I had a little booth and taught a class at the Modern Witches Confluence in San Francisco, a week after Bowie's first birthday. Her father brought her at the end of the day, and I’ll remember watching her purposefully walking through the rows of magical people, stopping to touch long skirts. Looking up at glittering faces. Booty-dropping to trancelike drums. What a trip!"
What excites you most about motherhood right now?
"Getting to talk with each other. She's saying funny words and phrases, clearly understands what we say. Hearing her tell me about her day in that strange little Muppet voice is the best."
What makes you most nervous?
"I'm dreading the teenage years! Jacob thinks I’m insane, but he was never a teenage girl. I remember being 14 or 15, in the throes of some enormous emotion, and thinking furiously to myself, 'Remember what this feels like, this moment, so you can know what to say to your daughter when she feels it, too.' Luckily, I’ve got more than a decade and plenty of runway to receive her as she is."
What advice would you give to other moms about to have their first child?
"Trust yourself. Higher Powers have been referred to as some iteration of Mother across nearly all cultures for all time—there’s good reason for that. The shift is subtle, you don’t change color or start hearing voices, but a Knowing rises within you when you become one. Every time I was confronted with a scary first—first fever, first bad rash, first inconsolable cry, etc.—if I just sat with myself amidst the rising panic and the urgency to 'fix,' I would know how to move forward."
"You’ll always have your community around you, and Google at your fingertips, as a safety net."
"Also, you and your baby are in an infinity loop partnership. Yes, it is your responsibility to love them up into being, but you’re also on this wild journey together. It’s easy to feel alone, and lonely, in this enormous transition. It helped me to remember that I was doing this WITH someone—her. Relying on the spirit of collaboration felt essential when I would hit my low lows; I would draw upon it to straighten my spine and try again."
How did you wind up living at your home in Corralitos?
"We moved to Corralitos in 2017. At the time we were in a one bedroom apartment in Oakland, I had just started Eothen the year before and Jacob was in year two with Concreteworks. Always paycheck to paycheck, always a hustle. Owning a home seemed like a remote star we could only see on the clearest night, but for the last two years we had been tightening a circle around where we wanted it to be, and what we wanted it to look like. Not long before we found where we live today, we had put a bid on a property that seemed to check all those boxes. We were swiftly outbid by 100K and all cash. With neither of us in tech, one of us self-employed, we knew we were never going to have that kind of cash."
"A few weeks later, our realtor gave us a call about a spot that wasn’t necessarily for sale, but the owner—a contractor that bought foreclosed homes and flipped them—was considering that it could be sold to the right person. It was a 'brother of a friend' six degrees to Kevin Bacon sort of thing. We blasted down to Corralitos on a sunny November afternoon, rain already in the ground, everything washed and sparkling. We walked onto the property to meet John and his wife Deanna sitting in the front lawn under a willow tree, having a glass of wine in front of a modest but tasteful single-level house on a half-acre plot. Cedar shingles, plaster walls, vertical Doug Fir accents. The yard was an unkempt ramble of ancient fruit trees and roses (all pink—my least favorite). As John showed us around, Jacob and I both felt our panic rising as the realization increased—THIS WAS IT."
"We sat down with John and Deanna under that willow, bark scarred from where the original owner had scraped to make tea for her headaches. Our connection was easy and familial. They had kids who were our age, also trying to make a go of it, and they could see in our wide eyes how much we already loved the place. Our conversation closed with John telling us to make him an offer, and it could be ours. Off market, no bidding wars, directly connected."
"The house wasn’t finished, so John and Deanna 'rented' from us for several months while construction wrapped up. We couldn’t afford to make house payments + rent a flat in the Bay, so we lived in our Sprinter on the streets of Oakland—mostly parking in front of our old apartment complex because it felt familiar. Hilarious. We’d shower at the gym where we had a membership and pee in the bushes at night, then I’d spend days making flowers for some of the most monied residences in San Francisco."
"Jacob was often traveling to Mexico for his job, and on one of his trips away and me alone in the van there was a drive-by a block over and I felt complete with the van adventure. It took time, floating in various room rentals, even sleeping on the floor at Jacob’s sister’s flat in Fruitvale, but we just steadily drew our lives more firmly into Santa Cruz. I gave up my S.F. flower studio and set up shop full-time in the light-filled, plastered, high ceilinged 500-square-foot 'screened-in porch' that John had added on to the original structure. I basically can never leave because I’ll never get a studio this good ever again."
Have you made any changes to the property?
"We haven’t done a thing to the house since we moved in, all our energy goes into the yard. We spend an enormous amount of time outside and the yard is just as much a room as the ones that have four walls."
"Jacob and I like making things together and damn, we really found our opportunity to express this. We’ve designed and built a chicken coop, greenhouse, and ADU that’s both a short-term rental and a retreat for visiting loved ones. We’ve added a cedar hot tub and a concrete cold plunge that are used almost daily. We’ve cleared and pruned trees and added twenty more to create a fruit forest. Apple, peach, nectarine, persimmon, feijoa, and plum shower us with abundance."
"I’ve planted gardens, been beat down by gophers, planted new ones, and am currently in a phase of ripping it out and starting over again. I’m always full of gardening vigor in the late-winter and early-spring, then by late-summer I’m so exhausted by the high season of wedding work that it all goes to crap! Just wait for next year and try again. I let myself make many mistakes out there, but each season I get to improve the soil, contribute to the biodiversity, and revel in being messy."
Do you have a specific home aesthetic you're going for?
"I’m not entirely sure if I can categorize our style outside of wabi-sabi. All is forever imperfect, in process, a living thing. We prefer to do less with high-value materials, so we’ll wait a long time without if it means we can eventually get the thing that we want. A recent example of this is waiting three years for a sofa. Now that it’s been seven years I swear to gods I’m getting skylights in the bathrooms. That sort of thing."
What appeals to you about raising Bowie Mar in the Santa Cruz area?
"The epic nature here in proximity to just living your mundane life is absurd, and it’s a wonderous place to be a child. The mighty Pacific shimmers up to the redwood forests which climb up into mountains. Ten minutes in any direction and you’re surrounded by beauty. I very much want her to go to Forest School, where youngins’ climb trees, know the plants by name, and learn how to identify animal tracks."
"I worry about her living in the Bay Area bubble. Not understanding how people in the South and Middle America live, work, and how that shapes their reality. Santa Cruz is also largely white—I grew up within a lot of diversity and that was part of what we loved about living in Oakland. We do feel happy and settled where we are, but just recently I’m not sure it’s forever. We’d likely never be able to buy in California again, but we do talk about moving to the Southeast where my people are to try that out for a few years. Nothing solid, all ideas floating around, I know that when we focus on something—it will come to pass."
How has it been transitioning to working in a new part of the Bay Area?
"Transitioning the business almost two hours south of the city that supported me was challenging. Santa Cruz is dreamy, but people don’t place value in my line of work. I’m incredibly inspired by the nature all around, but a little stifled by the lack of cultural influence or innovation. When we travel, I froth at the mouth to walk a million city blocks, go into all the museums, take in the parks and gardens. I’m beyond grateful for what we have, but also desire to create a more exciting, dynamic, and accessible crafts and arts scene in the town I pay taxes to."
Can you tell us about your career in a nutshell?
"I came to this work very indirectly. At university, I studied print journalism and studio art, then landed at an advertising agency in the production department. It was 2006 and the beginning of the Great Recession; I was honored to take the job, but admittedly not good at it. We developed TV and radio campaigns, shooting primarily in LA and NY. I largely had no idea what anyone was talking about and lacked the passion others who were good at their jobs held. I also think that anything you do before your Saturn Return should be held lightly. You just don’t know yourself and are consumed by the sweaty slog to prove yourself to others. It’s a challenge to move from a place of authenticity in your twenties—at least that was the case for me."
"I was writing an indie music blog with my then-partner, and it somehow caught the attention of the head of new business and badass lady, Kristen Cavallo. She brought me on as her right-hand, where I developed written content and decks for potential business opportunities. More in line with what I was capable of, still lacking in passion. There were long stretches of downtime that I’d fill with blog reading and craft research. One I subscribed to was called Design*Sponge; it featured a column called 'We Like It Wild' following the adventures of best friends and florists Jill Rizzo and Alethea Harampolis, a.k.a. Studio Choo. Based out of a groovy shop off Divisadero in S.F., they were making beautiful, free-flowing botanical crafts tied to the seasons up and down the epic stretch of Highway 1—a bad boi crew of dogs in tow. I felt the fire of passion flare! I decided I 1.) was going to move to California, 2.) was going to become a florist, and 3.) was going to work for them."
"I completed step 1—I sent the girls a love letter in 2011, and they brought me on as an intern. Which became an apprentice, to full-time work, to managing the studio. When personal life shifted them into different directions away from the business in 2016, I had honestly never once thought about working for myself but suddenly it was sink or swim. I sold advanced gift cards to raise 20K, bought them out of their equipment, took over the lease on their old studio, and just started running. That's how Eothen came into being, and I've been jogging along as a working florist ever since."
"Today I primarily flower for weddings up and down California, taking domestic and abroad gigs when it makes sense, and occasionally freelancing for heavier hitters. I’ve had wonderful commercial and residential clients over the years, have taught classes all over the States and internationally, and love coming on as a stylist for editorial shoots. In short, I’ve stirred a spoon in every pot this industry cooks."
Has becoming a mother impacted your creativity and career?
"Yes. Definitely. I went back to work 2 months postpartum, lacking the confidence to stay quiet and away from inquiries as long as I likely should have. Succumbing to the belief that if you’re not 'doing something' the nebulous 'they' will forget about you. At 6 months postpartum I was annihilated by paralyzing anxiety and self-doubt. Deep in the throes of sleep deprivation, I was struggling with brain cognition and focus—resulting in work I was convinced was not up to par. Challenged by a severe prolapse that was a result of my resistance to take care of myself, my body was ringing the alarm, too."
"It was like a lightning bolt, shocking me into the realization that I couldn’t do the amount I was doing anymore. This was the catalyst of closing Eothen Circle, my shop. But I will say—when I can navigate the paralysis of self-doubt, get out of my head and into the body, let the muscle memory take over—the work flows easily, effortlessly, without much thinking. I attribute that to the dialing up of intuition that comes part and parcel with motherhood."
Do you have regular hours or routines for work each day?
"The intention is there, but rarely solid. Example—I have a desk, but I write you hunched over like a troll on the sofa. I have childcare Thurs/Fri, which are active production days in the studio, which is connected to my home. A blessing and a curse. Wonderfully easy to continue breastfeeding and balance my job, but it makes me very—ahem—accessible. Saturdays I’m often on-site, sometimes Bowie Mar comes with me. Many a-wedding has featured her packed on my back in our hand-me-down Artipoppe. I honestly think she’s good for morale on the job, too."
"Scoops of admin and screen work is where I struggle. It’s hard for me to sit down for long in the first place, even less so now that she is literally on the run. Everything is backlogged and behind, but–surprise! The world just keeps turning when you don’t reply to an email or post to social media!"
"I feel the most challenged as a mother when I’m trying to dash off a response when she’s tangling herself in my legs. On my phone attempting to market an offering when I’m pushing her on the swing. The switch needs to be on or off for me to feel successful in either world, and I’m working on clearer boundaries with all of it."
Do you have any creative habits or practices to get going?
"It’s been a long time since I made something for the sake of making it. Those exercises are necessary to blow on those fires of passion, keep them burning. I’m looking forward to cultivating that practice again. When I do get to fuck around the studio, I play music really loud and dance. Often filming myself. I have no formal training and I’m not that good, but it always shifts me."
"I get unnecessarily gleeful over seed catalogues, even though I am a B- gardener. I love the potential of Potential. Acting upon the advice of a dear friend, I recently started a hobby that has nothing to do with flowers. Once a week I work with my primary partners, Raison (mare) and Gizmo (gelding), in intuitive horsemanship. It’s changing the way I approach all beings, including my daughter."
You recently opened—and then shut down—your beautiful shop, Eothen Circle. What has that transition of saying goodbye to the project been like for you?
"A process! I opened Eothen Circle in November 2020 and handed over the keys to someone else in October 2024. The Circle became something bigger than I anticipated for myself and those who interacted with it, the realization even more so after it ended. Without getting into the weeds–I spoke about it a good bit on social media and our newsletter and don’t want to bore people–what it really came down to was that I couldn’t do it all. As much as I wanted to keep up a brave face, not disappoint anyone, make it a success–that lightning bolt moment happened and I couldn’t ignore the voice inside anymore. I needed to 'fail' publicly, and admit I was woefully human to myself."
"I miss the light and smell of the Circle. The beautiful walls I plastered with friends, the fixtures designed by letting the space tell me what to do. The resources I was able to offer small-time makers and craftspeople. The workshops and events we put on for the community. The place I could invite everyone over to without having to maniacally clean my house. I don’t miss the stress of trying to make payroll. Racking my brain on how to market what we offered. Feeling disappointed when people didn’t attend the workshops and events. Interacting with those who just didn’t get what we were up to. Constantly wrestling with scheduling, personalities, politics, capitalism."
"There’s recently been a solemn parade of boutique shops and bespoke lines closing. Places and people I’ve followed and looked up to for years. All creative acts are cyclical in nature. Nothing is meant to go on for all time. Energy and action are composted to reinvigorate the substrate to build something new. I hope that is the case for what we are experiencing now."
"However, when extinctions occur it’s a slow slide over time–often too late once we see there’s far less of what once flourished. Contraction of habitat, drought of resources. The ecosystem pulls unevenly, out of balance, and things begin to leave. We’ve seen our downtowns shutter and vacate. A continuing prevalence in our inevitable consumption towards convenience over intention. It is of paramount importance that we acknowledge the larger arc of what is happening, and effort to shift our habits toward the collective health and interest."
"This is such a larger conversation surrounding late-stage capitalism and a deficit in the culture and economy of care. As Audre Lorde once said, 'There is no thing as a single-issue struggle because we do not live single-issue lives.' When I slid the key under the door the last time, I placed a hand against and leaned my forehead on the glass. Closed my eyes for a moment. And I let what I made go."
Any advice you'd give to fellow creatives about juggling a business + and a young child?
"My daily mantra is 'high hopes, low expectations.' Anything that happens beyond a far more modest bar than you would ever set feels like a win."
"We don’t have family nearby, and I wasn’t ready for her to go to a daycare in a larger setting when she was small. We were resourced enough to make the financial decision to have dedicated childcare twice a week. Prior to her arrival my work weeks were often 60+ hours, so I still feel like I’m always floundering—but I try to continually remind myself that any contribution towards my 'firstborn' means something. Does it borderline net even between the hours I put in and the hours I pay out? Mostly yes, but bringing on childcare has also been an emotionally resourced decision, too. I ardently believe she is as confident and secure as she is because she has meaningful and loving relationships with people outside of her nuclear parents. It’s an investment in her, our bond, and my work wellness."
"Because of that break-even dynamic, and even hiring childcare in the first place–it’s difficult not to feel flooded with guilt that I’m making the decision at all. I bury that by working as fast and intensely as I can, old 'prove it' patterns in my face. Going forward, it’s my intention to spend even an hour of that time in a place of spaciousness, observation and creativity. Even just a walk around the block alone."
Any big goals or happenings—professionally or personally—that you're excited about right now?
"I’m weaving the spirit of Eothen Circle into what I offer now. Gone, but not forgotten. This includes some of my other creative projects, such as Depths Tarot—a tarot deck co-created and self-printed in 2022, and Refuge de Lobos—our short-term rental, and other things I'm into. Herbalism, interior design, FLOWERS, just all the spaces I love to mess around and collaborate in. The Mother Tree for all these efforts is Eothen Earth—the new gorgie site that was built by my friend, Erin of Midsummer Studio, with marks by my girlfriends Michelle and Ellen at Nature. On my 41st birthday I launched my first online flower workshop offering, which I was insanely lucky to have Vanessa shoot. I'm proud of what we made together, and I hope people love it and find the information useful and accessible."
"I’m researching the process to structure a book proposal, secure a literary agent, and publishing house. I know everyone and their mother has a book these days, but I do feel I could contribute to the written world. We all have a book in us!"
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